www.gay.coma

Loneliness breeds hope for solace in the strangest things; even technology can see warm and inviting. The computer formed a virtual reality for him, made him feel like a rock star; who's lyrics can change the world. Men before have went genius in the wilderness, crazy in the bloody streets of America with the fury of loneliness. For him, it seemed modern to interact with 'worldly' people, men who had high I.Qs, deep, poetic thoughts, and mannerisms befitting a true cyber gentleman. At night, he'd dress up, hit the stage which was the Internet, strap on a glistening black guitar and smash the speakers.
At time the chat room he frequented he dumbed the 'romb' for its nature for being a womb; a comforting place, and, merely a room as well. He met people he called 'chat friends'; men of a certain level of respect for his words, men who listened.
There were also those men who made him cry with their words, tortured him due to his convictions, and even though this was hurtful, he continued to go back down the stairs into the darkened room to meet with the men over and over again. It made him feel as though he had a purpose in life, that he was a character in the mad drama that is life. He felt correct in being tortured because at least he was not doing it on his own now; and that made him feel nauseated to even consider on any level.



page 2/ gay dot coma

After many years of this being a satiating, warm place, he began to see the coldness of these continued interactions. But he knew no one else that would accept him for being gay; this horrible disease society had made a monster out of him with. He had considered of course, the monster he had made himself, the one who hides in the dark, fascinated by the socially well-behaved and those who had lovers. They seemed like zoo animals to him, at peace, though trapped.
He wanted the blindness of love to strike him down in his tracks, but it seemed he was always just out of the lightning bolts path.
He had originally thought it possible to meet someone real that would restructure his existence with the onslaught of love and passion. After awhile, the men seemed to blur together into one lying beast of a man, and he found it increasingly difficult to jump over that wall each time he was faced with its power. Reality was not some over rated thing, but a plastic thing; he had a facsimile of reality that kept him going while he was suffering from loneliness.